“Define normal”, I asked.
You know that moment when people say these things that are not very smart and you start wondering if there’s bleach in their head?! Well that was one of them for me!
This is from a conversation that I had with a friend over coffee. On my work lanyard, I have a badge that say “Don’t touch my hair” because it is cool and also, somehow, people think it is a very much okay thing to do…. don’t ask!
So, we started discussing this and I was really trying to explain to him how weird that was. I also tried to tell him that funnily enough, this mainly happens to black women. He just could not see the problem. He came up with all kind of arguments such as it’s affectionate, it’s nothing and so on and so forth. I refuted all of them. Aaaaaaand that’s when he hit me with the “it’s because your hair is not normal”. I almost hit the roof!
“What is normal hair? Please please, define normal for me! As far as I am concerned, my hair is normal for me and all the people that have the same type of hair as me think the same!”
He began stuttering. That was a nice load of rubbish what he ha just said. He realised it. Or so I thought.
I was quite blunt and asked him if his hair was normal and if so, why is that?
Is it the length? The texture? The colour?
Believe me or not but I could not understand where he was coming from! I had to remind him that he is Indian, for goodness sake.
What are we using as reference to normal hair? I would love to know.
I really want people to stop making black girls, especially the ones with kinky, coarse hair, that their hair is not normal or not professional.
Do they need to be reminded that it is the hair that grows out of our scalp?
I have gone past the understanding and teaching point. I am fed up with it all now!
I want people to stop asking stupid questions about my hair! I also want them to stop touching my hair or reaching for it randomly. Is that too much to ask?
It doesn’t matter if your hair is natural or relaxed, long or short, real or not, nobody should be entering your personal space, trying to touch it just because they feel like it or because it is nice.
This is the type of thing I have to deal with almost everyday in my local area.
Be empowered my Highness, 👸🏾👑✊🏿
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